Why Does My Ass Have So Many Issues?

I didn't go to water aerobics on Thursday with Dee due to some epic diarrhea that I think was caused by an antibiotic I was taking.  I needed to work out so I went with Nathan around 8.  Neither of us wanted to get into swim gear, so we just did regular shit.  I started out on the arc trainer.  What a goddamn mistake.  First of all, my hips are too wide for me to fit in there.  Well, I mean I fit, but my hips rub up against the sides.  It's annoying.  I only did 10 minutes because it was really hurting my feet and my knees.  I forgot that it took me a long time to work up to the arc trainer last time.  I had to start out on the elliptical since my quads weren't strong enough.
I went ahead and moved onto the treadmill so I could kind of stretch out my feet.  Sometimes I don't like having them in the foot cuff deals on the workout machines.  I did about 35 minutes on the treadmill before I had to stop.  I didn't stop because I was tired, I stopped because my ass cheeks were rubbing together so much I had a raw spot forming at the top of my butt crack.  How disgusting.  Just....  fucking gross.

I told Nathan we need to stick to the water.  He was fine with that.  He did 5 minutes on the arc trainer and could barely walk afterward.
People always assume that the skinny folks of the world are in better shape than the fatties, but sometimes that's just not true.  Tonight at the pool, I had done a couple of laps and so had Nathan.  He was exhausted and had to stop.  I kept going.  After a few more laps I stopped and asked him if he was alright.  He confessed that in 10 years, he's never worked out.  I'm morbidly obese, but I like working out, and I always have.  So while he hung out in the deep end, leaning on the side of the pool, I kept doing laps.  We stayed for an hour.  Poor guy.  He's conked out on the couch now.  I don't feel sore, amazingly enough.  It's hard for me to believe that this big fat tank is capable of outlasting a string bean.

I think for the time being I'm just going to do water stuff.  I'm not a fan of rawness in my ass crack.  What a joke.  Also I was sweating so hard on the treadmill I thought I was going to die.  Hot flash city, baby.  The water keeps those bitches at bay.

I also mailed in my application for gastric bypass.  I haven't heard from anyone yet, but the instruction sheet said to be patient.  I'm sure they're inundated with applications.  I just hope I get approved.  I don't want to have to wait a million years for insurance to say it's okay.  I'm so sick of this body.  The more we learn in anatomy class, the more I realize our bodies are a bullshit design.  Some of it is amazing and strong, but jesus christ.  Most of it is just crap, especially the heart.  Cardiac cells don't divide and repair.  You'd think these hunks of junk would figure out hearts are important and repair is vital.  Maybe in a few millennia people will have decent hearts.
Since the human body isn't really worth a shit, I don't mind having mine cut apart for maintenance.
Oh yeah, the feet are bullshit too.  Ankles and feet.
My lateral malleolus is really bother me.  I've had to ice it the last couple of nights.  I was going up the stairs to class the other day and I felt a pull from my ankle up my calf.  The same thing happened when I was cleaning the kitchen and when I was at Nathan's apartment.  That time I almost cried.  I'm worried I tore a ligament.  I need to make an appointment with a podiatrist.  I didn't realize there were different degrees of sprains.  Pulls, partial tears, and a complete tear.  I figured mine was just pulled, but I just don't know now.  It shouldn't be bothering after a year.  I don't think it's completely torn though.  I think I'd have more problems if that were the case.   Whatever.  I need to go to the chiropractor too.  My poor back, with its absence of a lordotic curve.

http://www.medscape.com/content/2003/00/44/83/448307/art-nf448307.fig7.gif

Check out the alignment on C.  That's me.