I'm sitting here feeling terrified about my future, so I thought I'd blog.
It hasn't taken me very long to get used to my CPAP, and I can tell it's working. I didn't fall asleep until 5 am today, but I woke up feeling rested around 1 pm, which is 8 hours of sleep, like normal people get. I felt sleepy during the day, but I didn't take a nap. I felt like I could power through the sleepiness. I've also started cutting my Ambien in half.
At one point in the morning I woke up and pulled my mask off. I drifted off but woke up 3 different times with a big inhale, like I hadn't been breathing. It wasn't the gasping most people describe, but I don't snore, so my gasping is a bit more subtle.
So my fear of dying in my sleep has decreased, and I'm starting to feel a bit more functional even though it's only been a couple of days. I hope it only gets better. Maybe I'll feel more like trying to find a job since I don't feel like a dried out turd on a long stretch of road all the time. Seriously though, it's hard to describe how shitty I feel all the time. And when you think about it, each time I go to sleep, my heart and brain die a little from oxygen deprivation.
Maybe once I start to lose weight I'll feel even better, and more like I'm suitable for the workplace.
About Me
- Fatbutt McGee
- A menopausal 30 year old, over two years after hysterectomy, struggling with body changes and weight gain.
I'm glad to hear the CPAP is already starting to take effect, and I'm hoping the CPAP starts to make you feel even better in the long term. I hate that you've been having to go through what you have been for such a long time. I want you to know that you are an amazing person, friend, and ANYTHING but a dried out turd on the road. Try to stay determined and channel the energy that you *do* have (hopefully you'll have more soon from the CPAP's help). You'll achieve your goals and get healthier!
ReplyDeleteAlso, every single time my parents and I talk they ask about you and how your progress is. They care a lot about you too after having met you only a few times! That should tell you a lot! =)
ReplyDeleteYeah for sleeping better. I know how my body feels after getting shit for awhile. You're awesome. Even if Fuzzy loses a little bit of his ear while you're in charge. :P love ya
ReplyDeleteyou may feel like a dried out turd, but you're MY favorite dried out turd :)
ReplyDeleteYou are awesome. I am so happy the machine is helping you safely sleep. I hope you continue in your progress with your new found energy. You can do anything you put your mind too. And I think you are awesome!
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