Watch the World Die

Let's just see what else can go wrong in my life.  GO AHEAD COSMOS, TAKE ANOTHER HUGE DUMP ON ME.  WHY DON'T YOU AIM FOR MY MOUTH THIS TIME!!!
I'm fatter than ever, but I have my final two bariatric check ups with my doctor soon.  I can't live like this much longer.
And of course, money.  Money, money, money.  Dee and Dave were incredibly generous and gave me enough money to pay off my hysterectomy as a thank you for letting the dogs out while they're working.   I was stoked to have that bill gone, but I got a letter from unemployment saying I was cut off and didn't qualify for benefits until I was making a certain amount of money from a company that pays into unemployment.  BULL FUCKING SHIT.  I went to their stupid orientation thing and WROTE THIS DOWN SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE IT SOUNDED IMPORTANT.  You have your initial 26 weeks of unemployment, then you get your first extension.  I didn't have to do job contacts for that extension since I was in school.  So for the beginning of the year I re-filed and sent in my DAT form along with my class schedule.  I got a thing saying I qualified, then I got another thing saying tough shit, I don't qualify because I'm not working at least part time.  IN THE ORIENTATION, THEY SAID THAT REQUIREMENT OF THE THIRD EXTENSION WAS WAIVED FOR STUDENTS.  Hello, fucking student here!  They said I have 10 days to appeal, so I wrote them a letter stating what I was told in orientation and included ANOTHER form with my schedule.  Mom wants me to call them, but I'm too full of rage.  Needless to say, I didn't get the money I was expecting on Friday and all the bills that usually clear on that day went through and overdrew my account by 150 bucks.  I deposited Dee's check to get myself out of the negative and now can't pay off my hysterectomy or anything else until I get unemployment sorted out.  My credit cards are all on the verge of being maxed out, and my car is running on fumes.
I like to think of myself as strong, but really I'm a big fucking wuss.  Dee handles a stressful job, works hard at a successful marriage and has a ton of hobbies that keep her busy.  Sara manages a full time job and a full time class load.  My little sister works full time and does acting jobs on the side.  My older sister works full time, is the executor of Dad's will, and is getting her second masters degree.  I can only seem to handle one thing at a time, and just a little bit of stress makes me feel like I'm going to go off the deep end.  Maybe it's because I'm bipolar.  Maybe it's because I've got shitty things I'm trying to handle and just don't acknowledge that they are stressful and difficult.  I don't know.  But the idea of trying to handle a job while going to school full time and fighting my way through bariatric requirements and fucking awful body issues makes me feel overwhelmed and crazy.  JUST GIVE ME MY FUCKING UNEMPLOYMENT EXTENSION YOU FUCK WADS.  JESUS TITTY FUCKING CHRIST.   My stomach has been in knots and I've felt completely wiped out, and I know it's just from worrying.  I went to a movie with Nathan and Leah, and Nathan had to keep nudging me because I was falling asleep during the movie.  That's never happened before.
I was feeling good too.  I was excited about the stuff we get to do for embalming clinical.  I get to see a full autopsy as well as a tissue/organ donation.  I think I'm going to be really good at this.  But when we were getting our supplies, which included scrubs, my heart sank when I realized the sizes only went up to 3x.  I'm a 4x.  The shirts will work, although their a little tight, but I couldn't even get the pants over my hips.  So I used the little bit of money left on my Amazon card to buy my own set of scrub pants.  What do I do if they're not delivered by Thursday?  Sorry professor, I can't participate because I'm too fat for the supplied scrubs.  I just want to die.  (Please note I'm not suicidal, I'm just frustrated and am not coping well).