Ass. ASS!!

Some doctors are just huge asses.  This is why I drive to Newton for my regular doctor.  I HATE finding new ones.
I went to my sleep study consult this morning, and everyone there was so great and so nice, except the doctor.  He was such a dick.  He's got the huge book I had to fill out in front of him, stating why I was there, and he very briskly goes, "so what do you want?"  I told him I wanted help sleeping.  Then he says, "so what's the problem?"  YOU HAVE A HUGE PACKET IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT.  READ IT!!!  So I mumble through some of my issues, the whole time imagining slamming his face into his desk over and over.
He repeats all of the questions from the form, and I answer them again, and then he asked about family.  I told him my dad had sleep apnea.  He asked if Dad wore a mask to sleep, so I said, yes, he used to.  Then he goes, "well why doesn't he wear it anymore?"  So I said, "because he's DEAD."  Then he got all apologetic and acted like less of a dick for the rest of the consult.  He said my circadian rhythms were all messed up.  Duh.  I already knew that.  He said he doesn't think Ambien is helping me at all.  He asked if I was ever short of breath, to which I answered, "yes, because I'm fat."  Then he was like, "oh, that's not what I mean."  Whatever, you penis.  Whatever.  He said sleep issues can cause weight gain, since your body tells you to eat when you're sleepy, because it needs energy to stay awake.
That made me think my weight gain is a more complex issue than I thought.  The absence of estrogen makes my body freak out and hold onto fat.  I can't sleep at night because I wake up with hot flashes or whatever, then I eat more because I'm tired.  I don't know.  Whatever.

I go in for the actual study on October 5th at 2 am.  They try to accommodate people's sleeping habits, which is nice.  They had me try on some CPAP masks.  I can't remember if they said they put one on everyone, or if they were just trying it on for future reference.  If this is sleep apnea, I really hope the gastric bypass helps.  I don't want to sleep with a mask for the rest of my life.
I can control the thermostat in my room, and there's a ceiling fan.  I may bring my own little fan.  I'll have my own bathroom and shower.  I have to wear pants to bed though.  BLEH.  Fuck pants.

Oh yeah, while I was in the waiting room, this guy had actually fallen asleep in his chair.  And everyone in the clinic was obese except one old lady.

I had a terrible thought going home.  I am my father.  Sleep issues, weight issues, bipolar disorder, tremors, all rolled into one.  At least I avoid tobacco and I don't drink anymore.  And I'm not on pain killers.