I think I just had a breakthrough while watching Kick Ass. Like, as in the issue I'm having the hardest time with since Dad died. I couldn't save him. I couldn't save him from himself.
Back when I was in therapy with Peg, I had to try and work through feeling responsible for everyone. Like, picking fights with Dad so he wouldn't hurt Mom or Squirt or Tyne. I would get really annoyed if I felt something was out of my control, and most everything was then. So now, I feel like I was responsible for Dad, or that I should have been, because he couldn't take care of himself. I doesn't matter what I would have done though. He would have destroyed himself regardless. And I couldn't save him.
I can save myself, though. I have control of that. My first fat meeting is tomorrow @ 12:30.
Save Yourself
About Me
- Fatbutt McGee
- A menopausal 30 year old, over two years after hysterectomy, struggling with body changes and weight gain.
Yay for saving yourself. I'll want to hear all about your meeting tomorrow in wa.
ReplyDeleteWhoo-hoo for breakthroughs! Yeah, it's possible to have control over a lot of things--from the most mundane like cleaning a litter box to finishing a college degree--but not over other people and their actions. I would try hard not to feel bad about that.
ReplyDeleteYOU CAN DO IT!! :)
ReplyDeleteYou are so kick ass. You have an amazing heart (show yourself some compassion while you grow).
ReplyDeleteI am proud of you for working to save yourself through things you can control.You have made it through so much. I am sure there are even more awesomeness to come.