Fear

I have been so damn anxious lately.  All of my classic anxiety from college/high school is back.  I'm scared to go anywhere alone.  I usually wait for Nathan to come home and ask him to come with me if I need to go somewhere.  I dread calling people I don't know, like for insurance bullshit.  I try to put it off as long as possible.  I also don't want to answer the door.  I did that in college all the time.  Someone would knock and I'd be super quiet until they went away.  I've been doing that again, like with my landlord or my neighbor.
Our toilet was running so Nathan called the landlord and he arranged for someone to come over the next day.  I was too freaked out to answer the door, so I hid back in Nathan's room until he was gone since he had a key to get in.
I don't know what my freakin' deal is.

On the migraine front, things are looking up.  I started B2 and magnesium.  The first day I took them I got a headache, but the second, third and fourth day I didn't get a headache.  Not even a hint of a headache.  I forgot to take my pills today and I just had to take an Imitrex.  A couple of friends seem to think this is a placebo affect, but if you've ever had a migraine, you know what the pain is like and that mind tricks don't make them go away.  It's like saying placebo birth control pills prevent pregnancy because you think you're taking the real thing.

My mouth guard has been working well, but I took it to my mom's this weekend and thought I packed it, but now I can't find it.  That thing was 70 bucks, goddamnit.  I just ordered a new one, but I didn't want to spend another 70 bucks, so I got a $20 one.  Geez.

This weekend I was thinking about starting the Optifast program to give me a jump start on losing weight.  I thought it was a prepackaged meal plan, but I did some research and it's just a liquid diet.  You drink a protein shake 5 times a day and that's all you're allowed.  I saw some good reviews, but there were a lot of bad reviews from people saying as soon as they stopped the program they gained all of their weight back, and the urge to binge on chewable food was overwhelming, so now I'm not so sure.  It makes sense to be on a liquid diet after bypass because you're stomach is tiny and wounded.  I'm not sure if I could do it without that tool.