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A menopausal 30 year old, over two years after hysterectomy, struggling with body changes and weight gain.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

What A Waste

Thursday was a bad day.  I TRIED to make it a good day.  I really did.  I ran several errands, made contact with other humans...
It all ended in shit, though.  
First the deal with the bariatric center had me all upset.  Then I got a 5 minute rambling message from my aunt after she had to pay a lawyer for some estate stuff.  This isn't all of it, (the VanTomme's are my cousin's in-laws):

"Hey Tiff, aunt Cheri, you bet your ass

I'll tell you what, thanks for loving me like you loved your dad
thank you very very much
but I'll tell you what, the VanTomme's have 1.2 million 
and the will, it's clean and it's clear
I paid 1200 dollars for a lawyer
you're done, you're fucked up, you're fucked
I'll tell you what, thank you very much
how could you treat your dad like this you mother fucker?
Have you got 1.2 million dollars ? The VanTomme's do, and they're on Tawny's side. 
And what we have all that evidence from when Dode was here (Dode is short for Dorabelle, who is my great aunt).
How could you fucking do it? You FUCK. I'll kick your ass
You're done, you son of a bitch, FUCK YOU, you left him with a dying heart
how could you let your dad die with a broken heart?
Shame on you, shame on you, shame on you
Don't ever come around here on the property again, there's a restraining order being processed now for you
Tyne, and Alexis
you came in here and you took things
you didn't read the will, you're fucked
I will take what I have to take and I've got friends up the ass
1800 dollars and I have my friends
Go ahead, sue me, I don't care
1.2 million, do your uncles have it? The VanTomme's have it.
YOU FUCKING FAT ASS FUCK
I'm sorry but what you did to your dad sucked, you son of a bitch
see ya girl, try 1.2 million, got ya, HAHAHA!, got ya!"


That got my guts all up in a knot.  Most of her ramblings didn't make any goddamn sense, but she is on every illegal drug known to man, so that's not a surprise.  I was worried she'd do something to my mom, so I spent 45 minutes trying to get ahold of her.  Her phone was going straight to voicemail so I was freaking out.  Eventually I heard back from her.  She had been in a condo meeting.  

In the middle of all that shit, Nathan came home and wanted to go out to eat.  I was in a terrible mood and my back was hurting, so I asked if we could just call something in and pick it up.  He got all grumpy and stormed out the door.  That pissed me off and I spent about an hour sobbing so hard I thought I would puke.  After I calmed down a bit I went for a drive to clear my head.  Nathan had come back by that time and when I walked in the door he apologized, but I was still pissed and yelled at him not to talk to me.  He went in his room, I stewed for about half an hour, then I went in his room and said sorry and everything was fine. 

Today we went out for supper and we talked about it briefly.  He said he was still upset from my behavior when I was on my little bender.  Then I tried to explain why I was so upset, and broke the news that I felt like cutting myself that night.  He didn't handle that well.  He was like, "I DON'T WANT TO COME HOME AND FIND YOU DEAD ON THE FLOOR!"  So we had to talk more about all of that, which is always uncomfortable for me.  I reassured him I have a well trained team of people that look out for me.  


So as far as the bariatric center, I have to redo several things because it's been a year since I initially put in the request.  I have to get another letter from my psychiatrist, I have to get more blood work, I have to meet with a nutritionist, I have to have another surgeon consult because the original surgeon I met with is leaving in 2 months, I have to have an EKG and I have to take the chip in from my CPAP so they can download the information to make sure I've been using it.  I have a new packet coming in the mail that I have to fill out as well.  
Also, when I talked to the insurance lady, she said my initial claim to Blue Cross was denied BECAUSE MY PSYCH LETTER WAS FROM A NURSE PRACTITIONER, NOT A DOCTOR.  That's it.  That's the reason I'm still waiting.  THERE ARE PSYCHIATRISTS IN THAT OFFICE THAT COULD HAVE SIGNED OFF ON THAT LETTER.  WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME?????!!!!!
Needless to say, I'm fucking stressed out, full of self loathing, and still feeling doomed.  

Oh yeah, and while my indiegogo account is stalled and hasn't had any contributions lately, the Oatmeal has raised another million dollars to build a Tesla museum.  I need that guy to do my PR.  

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