So Mom was telling me about this lady at her church that had gastric bypass, and after she lost a lot of weight she looked really good, and her friends wouldn't talk to her anymore because of her success. I thought, "what the fuck?"
I'm very lucky to have really supportive friends and family. I feel bad for that woman. My friends and family don't care what I look like. They love me for who I am.
This is a weak blog, but there you go.
About Me
- Fatbutt McGee
- A menopausal 30 year old, over two years after hysterectomy, struggling with body changes and weight gain.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Product Plug
This product plug is for PrairieLand Herbs. Kudos to your wise woman face cream, kudos to your plantain infused oil, and double kudos to your rosemary mint body powder.
The wise woman face cream has healed up the nasty eczema that's been on my chin since my surgery. It also healed up the dry itchy patch on my arm that I was convinced was cancer.
The plantain oil has helped a couple of things. I have a crack on the side of my mouth from... opening it too wide or whatever. The oil cleared that up, and I also put it on a canker sore and it was gone the next day. I used it on a spot on Nathan's leg that was super itchy. The next day it was almost completely healed.
Now for the powder. OH GOD THE POWDER. When I get out of the shower, I immediately burst into flames. I have a fan on me and all that and it's just miserable. I tried regular body powder, but it just felt kind of sticky, so I hated putting it on. This stuff, rosemary mint arrowroot powder, is AWESOME. It's silky smooth, it smells so minty and fresh, and you get a big cooling sensation as soon as you apply it. It's the only reason I find showers tolerable right now.
I can't wait to order more, and I've ordered some plantain tea. Plantain, (the herb, not the fruit), is excellent for detoxifying blood and a bunch of other shit. Couldn't hurt to brew some up and cleanse the system.
In other news, I would like to drug myself into oblivion so I can sleep.
The wise woman face cream has healed up the nasty eczema that's been on my chin since my surgery. It also healed up the dry itchy patch on my arm that I was convinced was cancer.
The plantain oil has helped a couple of things. I have a crack on the side of my mouth from... opening it too wide or whatever. The oil cleared that up, and I also put it on a canker sore and it was gone the next day. I used it on a spot on Nathan's leg that was super itchy. The next day it was almost completely healed.
Now for the powder. OH GOD THE POWDER. When I get out of the shower, I immediately burst into flames. I have a fan on me and all that and it's just miserable. I tried regular body powder, but it just felt kind of sticky, so I hated putting it on. This stuff, rosemary mint arrowroot powder, is AWESOME. It's silky smooth, it smells so minty and fresh, and you get a big cooling sensation as soon as you apply it. It's the only reason I find showers tolerable right now.
I can't wait to order more, and I've ordered some plantain tea. Plantain, (the herb, not the fruit), is excellent for detoxifying blood and a bunch of other shit. Couldn't hurt to brew some up and cleanse the system.
In other news, I would like to drug myself into oblivion so I can sleep.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Derp
Well I feel better after getting my testosterone increased. I don't need a whole bottle of lube for sex. I can make my own again! If you thought that was TMI, you're reading the wrong blog.
I went swimming on Friday and was rather amused when I started doing laps. The heat that was coming off of my body was warming the water around me, so it felt like I had just peed in the pool. And yes, I've peed in a pool before. I'm not as ashamed as I should be.
I wish life would go the way I wanted it to. I would go get a gastric bypass right this minute, and I'd get it for free. And I'd have access to an indoor pool 24/7.
I have to wait until August 2nd for my psych appointment to continue the process for the surgery. I need to call my family doctor too, so I have another documented case of me bitching about my weight. This is stupid. Everything is stupid.
I went swimming on Friday and was rather amused when I started doing laps. The heat that was coming off of my body was warming the water around me, so it felt like I had just peed in the pool. And yes, I've peed in a pool before. I'm not as ashamed as I should be.
I wish life would go the way I wanted it to. I would go get a gastric bypass right this minute, and I'd get it for free. And I'd have access to an indoor pool 24/7.
I have to wait until August 2nd for my psych appointment to continue the process for the surgery. I need to call my family doctor too, so I have another documented case of me bitching about my weight. This is stupid. Everything is stupid.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Strange
I just called Mom and asked her about sore nipples and oily skin. She told me to just call Kansas City and ask. She said she calls them all the time with body questions. I'll call them tomorrow.
Skin
After my hysterectomy, my skin got really dry. I had to use all kinds of moisturizer and kept getting rashes and what not. Now, out of nowhere, my skin has gotten really oily. Like, I could see the oil glistening on my scalp. My hair smells bad if I don't wash it everyday. I'm confused.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Prep Time
I just had my phone interview with Chris at the bariatric center. She was really nice and I feel comfortable with the people I've talked to so far there.
She asked me about psych stuff, which is fine, she asked me about the doctors I go to and such. She was impressed that I keep up with my doctor visits. I have my mom to thank for that. She drives my ass to Kansas City every few months and pays for my blood work.
She was also asking me about sleep. Do I get tired when I drive, have I ever fallen asleep at the wheel, am I sleepy in the afternoon, do I sleep well at night, yadda yadda. I guess I have several indicators for sleep apnea, which sucks balls. My dad has sleep apnea, and the idea of sleeping with one of those machines pisses me off. Although sleep apnea is one of those things that can be resolved by losing weight. I'll admit that sometimes when I'm laying down, I feel like I can't get enough air because my tits are choking me.
I did just talk to Nathan, like, 30 seconds ago, and asked him about my sleeping. He said I don't snore, and he's never heard me gasping at night. Sometimes I breathe heavy, but other than that, he's not noticed anything weird. I guess that's comforting.
I've just always been sleepy. It's really bad when I'm driving, and there was that one time when I fell asleep at the wheel when I was living in PA. I drifted into a semi and woke up when my side mirror crashed into my windshield. I had some tire burns on the side of my car too. Michaelanne, my supervisor in PA, said everyone in her family gets sleepy when they drive, and sometimes they have to pull over to the side of the road and doze for a few minutes so they don't sleep while driving. So, I don't know what that's all about.
I'm supposed to call my psychiatrist and ask her about doing a full psych eval. I called already and left her message. The next step is dependent on her sending a letter to the bariatric department. I'm also supposed to set up another appointment with Laurie, my primary physician, just so there's another documented case of me discussing my weight and such.
They still have to run stuff through insurance, and Chris said COBRA always makes them nervous, so we have to play that by ear.
They do TONS of educational stuff before the surgery. Like, you have to attend an eating class for so many weeks, and they council you on exercise and what not, so you're not left in the lurch. She reiterated it's a big lifestyle change, but I think I'm ready. I can't stand living in this body for much longer, and I think actually seeing some goddamn results in regard to weight loss would keep me on the right path. Maybe I could finally be one of those people that feels satisfied after sucking on some hard candy, as opposed to eating a whole cake.
Chris did tell me the program is 300 bucks, and there's some other shit that's not covered by insurance. That's to be expected. I guess you have to do 150 bucks when you start the classes, and 150 a few days before your surgery. They always bill insurance for check ups and other stuff to keep the out of pocket expense reasonable. COBRA had better fucking pay for it. I send them more than I pay for rent every month, goddamnit.
I told her I was in school for mortuary science and she got excited. I like it when people don't act repulsed at my choice of learnin'. She recommended having the surgery over winter break, so I could have some time to recover. Three to six weeks is the average. I think a chunk of my classes this fall will be online, so hopefully that won't be an issue.
Anywaaaaaay, I'm leaving for Davenport now to see Tyne and Squirt.
She asked me about psych stuff, which is fine, she asked me about the doctors I go to and such. She was impressed that I keep up with my doctor visits. I have my mom to thank for that. She drives my ass to Kansas City every few months and pays for my blood work.
She was also asking me about sleep. Do I get tired when I drive, have I ever fallen asleep at the wheel, am I sleepy in the afternoon, do I sleep well at night, yadda yadda. I guess I have several indicators for sleep apnea, which sucks balls. My dad has sleep apnea, and the idea of sleeping with one of those machines pisses me off. Although sleep apnea is one of those things that can be resolved by losing weight. I'll admit that sometimes when I'm laying down, I feel like I can't get enough air because my tits are choking me.
I did just talk to Nathan, like, 30 seconds ago, and asked him about my sleeping. He said I don't snore, and he's never heard me gasping at night. Sometimes I breathe heavy, but other than that, he's not noticed anything weird. I guess that's comforting.
I've just always been sleepy. It's really bad when I'm driving, and there was that one time when I fell asleep at the wheel when I was living in PA. I drifted into a semi and woke up when my side mirror crashed into my windshield. I had some tire burns on the side of my car too. Michaelanne, my supervisor in PA, said everyone in her family gets sleepy when they drive, and sometimes they have to pull over to the side of the road and doze for a few minutes so they don't sleep while driving. So, I don't know what that's all about.
I'm supposed to call my psychiatrist and ask her about doing a full psych eval. I called already and left her message. The next step is dependent on her sending a letter to the bariatric department. I'm also supposed to set up another appointment with Laurie, my primary physician, just so there's another documented case of me discussing my weight and such.
They still have to run stuff through insurance, and Chris said COBRA always makes them nervous, so we have to play that by ear.
They do TONS of educational stuff before the surgery. Like, you have to attend an eating class for so many weeks, and they council you on exercise and what not, so you're not left in the lurch. She reiterated it's a big lifestyle change, but I think I'm ready. I can't stand living in this body for much longer, and I think actually seeing some goddamn results in regard to weight loss would keep me on the right path. Maybe I could finally be one of those people that feels satisfied after sucking on some hard candy, as opposed to eating a whole cake.
Chris did tell me the program is 300 bucks, and there's some other shit that's not covered by insurance. That's to be expected. I guess you have to do 150 bucks when you start the classes, and 150 a few days before your surgery. They always bill insurance for check ups and other stuff to keep the out of pocket expense reasonable. COBRA had better fucking pay for it. I send them more than I pay for rent every month, goddamnit.
I told her I was in school for mortuary science and she got excited. I like it when people don't act repulsed at my choice of learnin'. She recommended having the surgery over winter break, so I could have some time to recover. Three to six weeks is the average. I think a chunk of my classes this fall will be online, so hopefully that won't be an issue.
Anywaaaaaay, I'm leaving for Davenport now to see Tyne and Squirt.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Let's Talk About Sex Bay-Beeee
I need to call my doctor in Kansas City. I think I could use a little more testosterone. My sex drive is in the turlet. It has been for awhile. This article I just read is interesting. My general doctor asked about my testosterone levels when I went in to complain about my weight. I told her they were fine, but I don't remember actually getting them tested. The last time I went to Kansas City, I think they only did estrogen. Check out the article HERE.
I'm looking forward to doing double red cell donation tomorrow. They take your blood out, filter it through some machine, and put something back in, plasma I think. When the fluid goes back in, there's a cooling sensation since it's not your body temp anymore. It feels SO GOOD. This entire day has been one giant hot flash.
I'm looking forward to doing double red cell donation tomorrow. They take your blood out, filter it through some machine, and put something back in, plasma I think. When the fluid goes back in, there's a cooling sensation since it's not your body temp anymore. It feels SO GOOD. This entire day has been one giant hot flash.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Eeep
The bariatric center at Mercy reviewed my questionnaire. The next step is a phone interview with a nurse. I just scheduled it for Friday, July 8th at 2pm. It will last about half an hour. I'm sure I'll have no problem rambling on and on about my weight.
We started learning about the nervous system in class. We were reviewing parts of the brain. The hypothalamus, which is thought to be responsible for hot flashes, also controls sleep, hunger, and metabolism. It makes sense to me that if the hypothalamus freaks out and causes severe hot flashes, couldn't it affect all of that other shit that I'm having issues with? I'm sure it's insanely complicated, but in general....
I got my Ambien back. So far I've been fine with just one, as long as I take a melatonin and a couple advil pm with it.
I'm still enjoying going to water aerobics with Dee, and tonight I'm going to do some lap swimming with Nathan. It may not help me lose any weight, but it sure does make me feel better.
Also, after I get my student loan refund I'm going to get my ankle looked at. It's all swollen again and feels weird and spongy. I guess I'll just tell them "if it's because I'm fat, that's fine, but please tell me if there's anything else wrong with it." People always assume you're in pain or have problems because you're fat. Being fat makes things worse and can bring on new pain, but it's not responsible for all pain, like my back and ankle. It's hard to get people to listen. Maybe they'll be impressed that I rolled it while kick boxing to try and lose weight. That sounds so much better than, "I tripped on the stairs."
We started learning about the nervous system in class. We were reviewing parts of the brain. The hypothalamus, which is thought to be responsible for hot flashes, also controls sleep, hunger, and metabolism. It makes sense to me that if the hypothalamus freaks out and causes severe hot flashes, couldn't it affect all of that other shit that I'm having issues with? I'm sure it's insanely complicated, but in general....
I got my Ambien back. So far I've been fine with just one, as long as I take a melatonin and a couple advil pm with it.
I'm still enjoying going to water aerobics with Dee, and tonight I'm going to do some lap swimming with Nathan. It may not help me lose any weight, but it sure does make me feel better.
Also, after I get my student loan refund I'm going to get my ankle looked at. It's all swollen again and feels weird and spongy. I guess I'll just tell them "if it's because I'm fat, that's fine, but please tell me if there's anything else wrong with it." People always assume you're in pain or have problems because you're fat. Being fat makes things worse and can bring on new pain, but it's not responsible for all pain, like my back and ankle. It's hard to get people to listen. Maybe they'll be impressed that I rolled it while kick boxing to try and lose weight. That sounds so much better than, "I tripped on the stairs."
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